Imported from the old Mercator Blog (Original Author: Ivan Stefanov)
So that was it. As fast as expected, the last week or so of my student's life flew away. A quick burst of 4 exams, and it is over. Over. Completely - nothing more to do here, everything is finished. At least with Bachelor's education...
It is so easy to count the days - exactly 14 to Check-out day. But there are some other things that are so hard to count - not that it is complex, it is just ... hard. For instance, when you count, you know that there is no time to drink another crate of beer. Or there is no point in buying one more box of pizzas. No more than two chocolates. No use in printing a new book to read. Two or three more laundries. Time - I don't care about it. But all those little signs of life that are flowing through my fingers faster than I can count - this is really getting to me. I can't believe I'm saying it after 3 years of constant, at moments almost unbearable pressure, but it seems that now, when it is all over, is the real time to be strong.
Imported from the old Mercator Blog (Original Author: Ivan Stefanov)
So, it's all over, then? The guided research is - kind of - done, not complete, but done, paper submitted, presentation given, although it passed quite bad... but whatever, it. is. OVER. And with all the courses already passed, as it seems, I am starting to embrace the idea that my days in this university are counted. Hopefully, at least the undergraduate days. I really want it all to be over once and for all - I do not have the nerve to wait for all the grades and stuff, I am so tired of the whole grade business that I just want my diploma in my hands and the long summer rest I have promised myself some 2 years ago.
Today something else occured to me - even if it happens so that I am admitted here and I do not see the last of this university on 6th of June, I will no longer be living on campus. Strange thought. This campus, this college started feeling like home, kind of...
Imported from the old Mercator Blog (Original Author: Ivan Stefanov)
46 hours and counting... down. This is the time remaining to finish my guided research, finish the paper, check it, double check it, drink a glass of cold water to flush away all the bad taste of incompleteness and imperfection and submit the damn thing. One day, when it is long since gone, I am sure I'll be missing dearly these hours of high-strung, nerve-twisting tension... straining your will, or your stubborness, to the very edge, which you never exactly dare to cross.
We are always so afraid of the edges, even when we are constantly moving on them. What lies beyond is scary. Freefall? FREE fall? I wouldn't call it this way - to fall and to be free are contradictory terms in my eyes.
Anyway, one day I'll be missing it all, but right now, in this very moment, I would love 2 hours for myself, sunset at the top of the world, a hammock, and the inevitable cold beer. Or the soft touch of the freshly mown grass under your bare feet on campus green, as hippie as the experience may sound. But bring it on, whatever may come. 46 hours and counting down.
Imported from the old Mercator Blog (Original Author: Ivan Stefanov)
Wow, I haven't written here for a really long time. The sixth semester kind of got me and with all this guided research and such "I am going slightly mad". Not that slightly, if I have to be sincere, though...
Anyway, I just wanted to note that a new list for communication with the Mercator College team - information _AT_ mercator-college.org . Feel free to use it for requests, suggestions, or just to tell us how great we are :P
Now let's read some scientific bullshit - wrapping it up.
Imported from the old Mercator Blog (Original Author: Ivan Stefanov)
Look at all that shines
Baby's down on the world as she knows it...
I've been listening a lot to this song recently and although I still don't quite get the meaning of the lyrics, I caught myself thinking a lot about this particular name - "Elegantly Wasted".
Apart from all the shite that's been happening recently, pressure, frustration and disappointment, there's been a lot going on which made me go into this slightly nostalgic, slightly oblivious state of mind. And the beautiful, in all the best senses of the word, spring. I just can't get tired of it - I wait for it, I live it up every single year, and still the sheer power of life bringing everything out of winter's excuse for existence amazes me over and over again.
And the hope for something better...
Wasted days of pure enjoyment.
We run
We hide
We wait and we want
The good life
Aw sure
You're right
This ain't, the good life
Ah, elegantly wasted
Imported from the old Mercator Blog (Original Author: Ivan Stefanov)
Due to a somewhat unlikely sequence of events (and lack of others, at that) this week happened to be my real spring break. With basically nothing to do - no studying, no homeworks, no work, no anything, it was literally my time in my own hands. Which, accidentally, is my definition of a holiday.
But which is the most extraordinary in this situation, I used the time not to drink my brains away or something, but to delve deep into one of my old and quite forgotten passions - namely, history. Geeky as it may sound, I've read half the reader of the Contemporary European History course out of pure interest... Now start laughing :D
No, really, it was enjoyable. And it's over, which is the best part - you can't get to appreciate these lucky breaks in the middle of the semester, if there's no sh*te to follow. Now let it spin, I'm alright and charged for the remaining 2 last months of my undergraduate education.
Imported from the old Mercator Blog (Original Author: Ivan Stefanov)
So, basically, a lot of things happened.
Midterms are almost over. After one hell of an exam as a fruit of a pure genuine decision to have it on Saturday, and my feeling quite... oh, well, I'd not use the correct words on this blog, so let's just say I felt tired after it... I have only one left and it is so far away in the future that I can not even perceive it is real. Strange thing, though, because I am sure it will come tomorrow - something's going on, it's just like my first year, the time is passing and I can't even understand how fast it's going. Stop it!!!
Anyway. To complete this totally unordered, unlogical train of thoughts, I'll add that my new machine from DELL arrived just on time and is awesome. It's pathetic, I know, but things like this make me feel complete in a sick, twisted way.
Only three years of CS and I'm starting to lose it... Hahaha, aaaaaaanywaaaay...
Off to wherever now! Will write again in some better moment.